"So a few mins ago, I made a gin and tonic. Turned around to put the tonic back in the refrigerator. Turned back to my drink and there was a goddamned bug floating in it. I forgot warm weather + open windows = bugs. So I picked him out and continued to drink my drink. Cause I’m not wasteful. Who am I to judge the bug? Maybe he wanted to get wasted for St. Patricks day."
Hi, my name is Cara and I’m a 21 year old woman. Every 28 days, give or take, I have a period. And it fucking sucks. Today, was one of those where I take from the 28 day cycle. I wasn’t due for another period for at least a week, but considering that my period is pretty much permanently irregular, I get to wake up a lot of mornings in a pool of my own blood. Hmm. Lovely.
I then proceed to dump my sheets, my underwear, and my pajamas in my laundry room in a tub filled with cold water, with the hopes that this time I haven’t ruined them permanently.
What next? Well, a shower of course! To wipe off the smell of rotting blood from my body! Squeaky clean and towel fresh I have about a two minute window before the volcano of blood begins to erupt again from my vagina.
What will it be today? A piece of chlorinated toilet paper cardboard with a string that I get to shove up my hole wherein the blood will sit and rot until the next time I can shove another piece of chlorinated cardboard up the same hole? Or, a plastic lined toilet paper diaper attached to my underwear that causes rug burn to my vaginal area when I walk? Well the later requires less coordination, and it is early, so I guess I’ll be sitting in a period diaper today. The best ever.
Of course, I could always just get birth control, and lessen this whole shit. But 1) I can’t afford it 2) I can’t ask my dad to pay for it because, guess what? Just like the men who run my government, my father correlates birth control with sexual promiscuity! Thus, sitting on my rotting blood, undergoing severe cramps that have on more than one occasion caused me to black out, it is! (Not that birth control is such a walk in the park either, our bodies have to learn to deal with the hormones and other chemicals and consequences that birth control entails.)
Then, I get to go to class, where I have to pretend that I am not a leaky faucet of blood and tissue. I get to sit in Calculus, and if heaven forbid, I need an additional pad, I have to be discrete about it, so as not to offend the men’s gentle sensibilities to the fact that I am the one dropping tissues and blood from my body through my vagina.
I once asked a male to take me to the pharmacy so that I could pick up (GASP) pads, or as we like to call it “feminine products” (again, so as not to offend the gentlemen’s overly sensitive natures) and had him equate me talking about my period to him talking about his erections.
This is nothing like your fucking erection’s. I don’t derive any enjoyment from this. I can’t mentally control any ounce of this entire process. I can’t masturbate my problem away. My period does not end in orgasm.
It stays. For at least five days in my case. Draining blood out of my body. Causing me severe cramps, making me irritable -not because I’m uncomfortable (which mind you,would be reason enough) - but because my hormones are all over the place, bloating me up to two sizes larger than I normally am, I have to actively fight not to smell like a fish market, and on top of that, you want me to be hush-hush about this? Because it’s icky foryou?
And this is not an attack on that one man, this is an attack on ALL MEN who on top of sitting on their throne of gender privilege want me to stay quiet and be content about the fact that five days out of every month I get to undergo this happiest of joys.
And then, these very same men have the audacity to get annoyed because we don’t want to listen to their bullshit complaining about traffic? Or whatever other meaningless story they happen to tell us while our bodies are actively fighting against us? Then we get to be the butt of their tired-ass jokes? Sorry, I am most certainly not sorry.
I repeat NO. I say women come out of the period closet and say, “You know what, this happens to me. Every. Fucking. Month. And it’s terrible. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY MORNING.” Because the truth is, if I live in a country where Viagra is covered by medical insurance, but birth control isn’t, I can no longer keep denying that I live in a country that is actively waging a war on women. And if I live in a country that is actively waging war on my sex, the least I am going to do is break patriarchal social propriety to inform anyone and everyone of the shit biological process I was BLESSED enough to be born into.
Hello, my name is Cara, I’m a 21 year old woman, and today I’m on my period. Let me fucking tell you about it.
I made gin & tonics tonight. And what I mean by that is, after Beau left, I made 1 very large gin & tonic for myself and drank it quickly on an almost empty stomach. It’s almost gone and so am I. Fuckin’ drunk, man. Shout out to Chelsea P. I think she can relate.
Why is my head so heavy? And why was I not hungry today? I didn’t have breakfast and my stomach didn’t grumble in complaint at all. Which is totally unusual. I had chocolate frozen yogurt for lunch and Beau brought me a P’zone from Pizza Hut for dinner (which was delicious!) I made this totally amazing dessert for Lacey and Beau but didn’t want one myself.
I have been researching dog breeds online the past few days (what’s new?) and I want another dog, so bad. I’m thinking either a greyhound, cane corso, or some random dog I see at a shelter that steals my heart. I’m seriously going to turn into a crazy dog lady. I keep warning Beau about this, but I don’t know if he gets how much I love doggies. I want them all. We went to the grocery store earlier and there was a guy in his car with a Saint Bernard in the back seat, and I was SO tempted to run over and pet him. I can’t NOT pet dogs! Especially big cute ones! The more they slobbers, the better.
I am not really a country music person, but I’ve been listening to my Shania Twain Pandora station for seriously months. like 2 months. I love it. No shame.
Tomorrow I am going to the Hartville Flea Market with Kaitlin! I can’t freaking wait! I love that damn flea market so fucking much. It’s the best. That’s where 70% of my money goes in the summer. The other 30% goes to bills.
I’ve been meaning to update with a personal post for a while, and now I have a chance to!
Everything has been going swimmingly lately. My last week before Spring Break was surprisingly manageable, and I even went to all my classes. My teachers ensured we would not skip by telling us in advance that we would have assignments in class the last day worth a lot of points haha. We watched videos about tornadoes in Earth Science and they were so cool but at the same time kind of scary and eye opening, especially because we live in the Midwest and it’s almost tornado season.
The weekend was awesome and very relaxing. I went to Beau’s house on Friday and we went to the cafe, then to Game Stop to get the WWE game for his Xbox 360. We played it til about 10:30ish, then I went home with a tummy ache. Woke up Saturday and got ready to leave. My mom, Beau, and I went to Burke Lakefront Airport for the Family Day event. They got to meet my instructor, Patty, who showed us the flight simulator which is SO AWESOME. Cannot wait to use it!
Beau asked a lot of important questions about getting a job once I receive my commercial pilot license and Patty explained that a bit more. I couldn’t be more excited to begin training. June can’t come soon enough.
After we got back to my house from the airport, we went to Brunswick to check out an auction in a church. It was completely overcrowded, to the point of being a fire hazard, so we left and went to an auction in Green instead. The first thing they auctioned off when we arrived was old sparklers, haha. We hung out there for a while before leaving and going to the Waterloo for dinner. I had never been there before. Beau ordered us "long john milkshakes" which turned out to look like this:
They were freaking huge! You have to set the milkshake on the seat next to you in order to drink it..and you have to connect 3 straws together! They were totally delicious. Our waitress was super funny and laid back. I ordered Pizza Spaghetti, which was amazing. At the end of dinner, our waitress informed us that we didn’t have a bill, because some anonymous person/s had picked up our tab. Caught us so off guard! Beau looked like he was about to cry from joy. It was awesome. Now I want to do that for someone else!
Beau and I spent yesterday hanging out at his dad’s house in Hartville and I got Liz hooked on Hungry Shark :) I am so obsessed with that game, I even get upset if I realize I didn’t play it for a whole day. I will be the master shark, one day… The weather yesterday was absolutely gorgeous! Sunny blue skies and temps near 70. I don’t ever recall a spring like this in Ohio, but I’ll take it! I love their dog, Charlie. He’s so cute and sweet. Here’s a photo of him I took yesterday.
Today I work til about 2pm, then my sister is coming in early so I can go home, grab my xrays, and head to my oral surgeon’s office for my consultation regarding my wisdom teeth. Christi had the same surgeon as me and said her consultation only took 5-6 minutes. The guy looks at your teeth, explains the surgery to remove the wisdoms, asks if you have any questions, and that’s about it. They’ll also tell me how much it will cost and how much my insurance covers. And of course, we’ll make a follow up appointment for the actual surgery. I don’t think I’m even nervous anymore. Christi said she had a great experience with this particular Dr. and that it wasn’t bad at all. I’m hoping to get the surgery done on Friday so I don’t have to miss as much work and I’ll have the whole weekend to heal up.
I also have Beau’s birthday gift planned already in my head, but I can’t post about it here because he reads this occasionally ;)